1、父母总担心我乱花钱，我每次都告诉她们，不用担心，因为我根本没有钱花。
My parents are always worried about my spending money. I tell them every time that I don have money to spend.
2、我是一个很有原则的人，我的原则就在于，叫我撸串必到。
Im a man of principle. My principle is to ask me to come.
3、为什么很多人都喜欢露脚脖子，因为那边的皮最厚。
Why do a lot of people like to show their feet and necks, because the skin over there is the thickest.
4、你要说我找不到媳妇，我根本无所谓。你要说我发不来财，我立马跟你急。
I don care if you say I can find my daughter-in-law. If you want to say I can make money, Ill be in a hurry.
5、每次发誓减肥，都要爆胖三斤。
Every time I vowed to lose weight, I would put on three pounds.
6、别人问我能不能帮个忙，我一般都是先问是什么，然后果断拒绝。
When people ask me if I can help, I usually ask what it is first and then refuse decisively.
7、我有三宝，穷，丑，矮。
I have three treasures, poor, ugly and short.
8、你可以说我好看，但别说我朋友，因为这是跟他们没关系。
You can say Im good-looking, but don talk about my friends, because it has nothing to do with them.
9、那一夜我清空了所有的购物车，都被我删了。
I emptied all my shopping carts that night, and I deleted them.
10、查完银行卡的余额，我就放心了，再也不会被骗了。
After checking the balance of the bank card, I was relieved that I would never be cheated again.
11、为什么别人玩游戏能奔现，我玩游戏就是强制下线。
Why can others play the game can run, I play the game is forced offline.
12、我朋友问我有什么办法让人一直念念不忘，我偷偷告诉他欠钱不还。
My friend asked me if I had any way to keep people in mind, and I secretly told him not to pay back the money.
13、我特别喜欢小动物，像炸鸡，烤鸭，烧鹅等等。
I especially like small animals, such as fried chicken, roast duck, roast goose and so on.
14、你别看我胖，但减肥我喊得比谁都麻溜。
You don think Im fat, but Im more sarcastic than anyone else.
15、小时候虽然穷，但是很开心，长大就不同了，不仅穷，而且还不开心。
Although I was poor when I was a child, I was very happy. When I grew up, I was not only poor, but also unhappy.
16、有的人真的是不知足，都已经有双下巴了，还想着肤白貌美。
Some people are really not satisfied, have double chin, still want to be white and beautiful.
17、如果改名可以改变命运，那我想叫支付宝。
If renaming can change fate, I would like to call Alipay.
18、本想把自己锻炼成一身精肉，没想到到最后一身五花肉。
I wanted to train myself into a whole body of lean meat, but I didn expect to get the last body of streaky meat.
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