别人用的都是香奈儿包包，宝格丽包包，而我不一样，用的表情包。
Others use chanel bags and Bulgari bags, but I use different expression bags.
世界那么大，我想去看看。钱包那么小，我看你能走多远。
The world is so big, I want to see. The wallet is so small that I see how far you can go.
神啊，如果没有办法把我变瘦的话，就把我的朋友们变胖吧！
God, if there is no way to make me thin, make my friends fat!
今天下定决心做废物，可没想到这行这么难，竞争如此激烈。
Today, I made up my mind to be a waste, but I didn expect that this business is so difficult and the competition is so fierce.
有人问我：“骗子这么多，手段这么丰富，听起来又非常诱人，为什么你总能第一时间识破他们的伎俩呢？”我嘴角露出一丝不屑，高傲地说了一个字：“穷。”
Someone asked me, "there are so many swindlers, so many means, and it sounds very attractive. Why can you always see through their tricks at the first time?" I showed a trace of disdain at the corners of my mouth and said a word proudly: "poor."
当我把衣服塞进秋裤的那一刻开始，我就知道我已经与时尚无缘了。
From the moment I tucked my clothes into my autumn pants, I knew I had lost touch with fashion.
秋天的第一杯奶茶，没希望了，再不努力，只有冬天的西北风了。
The first cup of milk tea in autumn is hopeless. If you don work hard, there is only the northwest wind in winter.
人间正道是沧桑，活得不要太嚣张。
The right path in the world is the vicissitudes of life. Don be too arrogant.
其实你也不是一无是处，至少在夏天，你还能喂蚊子。
In fact, you are not good for nothing. At least in summer, you can feed mosquitoes.
据我观察，长得帅的男人都说自己长得不帅，所以我也觉得我长得不帅。
According to my observation, handsome men say they are not handsome, so I also think I am not handsome.
问：“你知道火锅、麻辣烫，吃多了会出现什么吗？”答：“笑容。”
Q: "do you know what happens when you eat too much hot pot and Malatang?" A: "smile."
人之初，性本善。你炒饼来，我煎蛋。
Mans nature at birth is good. You pancake, Ill fry eggs.
上帝给我一双脚，教我如何屹立不倒，可我只学会了逃跑。
God gave me two feet and taught me how to stand, but I only learned to run away.
最近看到一句话说：“胖是一会的事，而丑是一辈子的事。”想了想，我很欣喜，就算我减肥成功又怎么样呢？果断开吃！
Recently I saw a saying: "being fat is a matter of a while, while being ugly is a matter of a lifetime." After thinking about it, Im very happy. What if I lose weight successfully? Eat decisively!
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