1.自从买了保险，连过马路都不看红绿灯了。
Since I bought insurance, I don even look at the traffic lights when I cross the road.
2.我不介意你骗我，介意的是你的谎话骗不了我。
I don mind if you lie to me. What matters is that your lie can deceive me.
3.之前有个姑娘来找我借钱整容，应该是整的挺成功的，到现在我也没认出来谁向我借的钱。
A girl came to me to borrow money for cosmetic surgery. It should have been a success. Now I don know who borrowed money from me.
4.丑的人才撩妹，帅的人只有被撩的份。
Ugly talent seduces girls, handsome people only get teased.
5.九年义务教育你就学会了装逼么～
Did you learn to pretend to be forced after nine years of compulsory education
6.从见到你女朋友第一眼起，你这个朋友我交定了。
From the first time I saw you, I made a girlfriend.
7.世上无难事，只怕有钱人。
Nothing is difficult in the world, but the rich.
8.在哪里跌倒，就在哪里躺好。
Lie where you fall.
9.爱笑的女孩都容易被鱼尾纹眷顾。
Girls who love to laugh are easily favored by crows feet.
10.长得好看的叫吃货，不好看的叫饭桶。
Long good-looking called food, not good-looking called rice.
11.上帝为你关上一扇窗，还会为你关上门。
God will close a window for you and a door for you.
12.人生没有过不去的坎，只有过不完的坎。
There is no obstacle in life, only one that can be finished.
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