中英文幽默段子：关于减肥的笑话
1、一个胖子去诊所，医生：“你好，请问你哪里不舒服？有什么症状？”
胖子：“医生，我身体没毛病，只是感觉自己太胖了，请问有什么方法减肥么？”
医生：“减肥的话，一顿吃个馒头片就好。”
胖子：“谢谢医生！那是饭前吃还是饭后吃啊？”
医生：………
A fat man goes to the clinic. Doctor: Hello, whats wrong with you? What are the symptoms?
Fat man: doctor, Im healthy, but I feel too fat. Is there any way to lose weight?
Doctor: lose weight. A piece of steamed bread is good.
Fat man: Thank you doctor! Is that before or after dinner?
Doctor:……
2、我姐是个肥妞。一日，我和她正在客厅看电视，突然飞来一只蚊子不要命的叮了她一下，她一巴掌拍死又盯着蚊子看来看去，我好奇的问：“干什么呢？”她幽幽地吐出一句：“如果蚊子从此以后不吸血，改行吸脂肪，那蚊子该是一种多么可爱的小生灵啊……”
My older sister is a fat girl. One day, she and I were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly a mosquito gave her a bite. She slapped her dead and stared at the mosquito. I asked curiously, "what are you doing?" "What a lovely little creature a mosquito would be if it didn take blood and turned to fat from now on……" she said quietly.
3、我瘦了 ，妻子站在秤台上高兴地对丈夫说：“亲爱的，快来看，我体重减了两公斤！”“亲爱的，那是因为你还没有化妆。
I lost weight. The wife stood on the platform and said happily to her husband, "honey, come and see, Ive lost two kilograms!" "Honey, thats because you haven made up."
4、做一个爱笑的女孩，听说喜欢笑的人运气都不会太差；做一个爱哭的女孩，因为我想活得长点；做一个爱睡的女孩，睡出灿烂好气色；做一个爱吃的女孩，减肥神马的吃完再说；做一个宠爱自己的女孩，所有看得上的东西，你值得拥有。
As a girl who loves to laugh, its said that people who like to laugh are not too bad luck; as a girl who loves to cry, because I want to live longer; as a girl who loves to sleep, she sleeps with a bright color; as a girl who loves to eat, she can lose weight after eating; as a girl who loves herself, all the things you can see are worth having.
5、我问算命的：“我还能减肥不？”
算命先生掐指一算：“你小减可以换衣服，大减可以换丈夫！”
我又问：“要是不减呢？”
算命先生：“那你就换床呗！”
I asked the fortune teller, "can I still lose weight?"
The fortuneteller pinched his fingers and said, "you can change clothes for a small one, and you can change your husband for a big one!"
I asked again, "what if we don reduce it?"
Fortune teller: "then you can change your bed!"
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